From pediatric resident to NICU mom: Part I

"Finally, some good news, you're having twins"- Shelby (Ultrasonagrapher), November 2010

Myself and Dr. L, AMC NICU, Some late night/early morning September 2010

I wish that I could put to words what I felt at that moment...  I know there were tears... tears of pure joy and tears of complete terror.  In all honesty, the first thought that raced through my head was "Oh no, they are going to end up in the NICU".

For those of you who may want to know... Yes, twins do run in my family and Tim's as a matter of fact.
No, I am not advanced maternal age.  Yes, my twins were conceived spontaneously without the use of hormonal therapy or IVF.  Yes, they were Tim's and my first miracles!

As a side note, I would like to thank Dr. Pariksha P; she went above and beyond her chief resident/friend duties and accompanied me to the OB's office on the day I found out about the twins and that would not be her last visit.   She felt I should not be alone, especially when I was worried something was going wrong.   Thank you!

Overall, my pregnancy had gone well.  It surpassed my expectations.  I did have a few scares, but I never needed to go to hospital or on bed rest (my worse fear).  I remember passing all the "milestones"... 24 weeks, 28 weeks, then 30 weeks, 32 weeks (I had been going to the OB almost weekly at this point; another small miracle when working a resident's schedule).   During the OB visit prior to "D day", Dr. B casually told me, "You have come to the point where we would NOT stop your labor."
This was quite different from his usual lectures on preterm labor in twin gestations!  Like I wasn't worried enough.


Yay!  I was almost 34 weeks.  Over the previous 3 weeks, I had exploded!  "Sh?!*T, when did my feet and ankles get so big".  I had gained more than 15lbs in two weeks, almost doubling my pregnancy weight.  I looked like I was in heart failure with my tree trunk legs.  I had also slowed down significantly.  The walk from the parking garage was starting to become a daily marathon.  When I wasn't at work, I was bedridden, even the couch wasn't comfortable.   Against my better judgement, I had spent the weekend on Long Island attending a Pediatric Board Review Course.  Looking back, I am very lucky that I didn't deliver the twins on the Cross Bronx Expressway.  That was the first time, I thought that I might need to go out on early maternity leave.  My schedule wasn't too taxing, but I was still spending a quite a bit of time on my feet.

Let me take this moment to give a shout out to my Tim.  Without him, we would have starved, lived in a pigsty and well, I could go on and on.  Long story short, I was useless and he was the wave that kept things going.

Which brings me to the the weekend May 21st and 22nd...  Let me start by saying, I have a wonderful family (truly the best) and this includes Tim's family.  Tim's mom, Mary, was up visiting from NJ; she was in town to assist us with putting together the nursery, running errands and as always providing good conversation.  Because of her, Tim and I became members at BJs, filled our fridge, and had a brand new double stroller.  What can I say, she has great timing!

It was early Sunday morning, as per my usual routine, I was up to use the ladies' room.  But this time my water broke and it wasn't subtle.  I tried to stay calm (my heart rate was only about 150 beats per min) "Tim", I quietly whispered.  "I think, we need to go to the hospital".  I told Tim to shower as I called the doctor.  He agreed;  it was time.  I quickly changed my clothes (futile, I know) and grabbed a towel for the car ride.  Like I said, it wasn't subtle.
It was at the hospital that the realization hit me like a ton of bricks, "It's too early, they are too early!?!"
34 weeks and 1 day, they weren't baked long enough!  All the complications began running through my head.  I silently kept this to myself in order not to concern Tim.
On top of that, it seemed to be raining women in labor... one by one, they started to arrive.
The charge nurse quickly put me in a room and started my admission.  She was a little bit frazzled, but always entirely professional.  She even kept her cool when it was confirmed that a c-section would be my fate.  Head to head and butts down, my babies were still breech.
Slowly the contractions began... first every 15 minutes, every 5 minutes, then every 2 minutes.  Boy, they hurt like a b!?*$tch.  I was second in line for the OR and I was starting to think that one of the babies just might fall out.  "Just breath", my nurse calmly said.  "I should have taken birthing classes", I thought.  After what seemed like hours of hard labor (about 2 hours to be exact), I was finally walked to the OR...

"Just smiling through it"